Hello blog readers!
Being in your early twenties is definitely a challenging time, particularly starting to enter the real world of work and beginning to understand the vast challenges that are out there. I decided to start this blog purely for my own benefit. I feel like I read so much every day about the world around me and have so many thoughts floating around my head that no one ever has the chance to see. So, this is my opportunity to share those thoughts without the pressure of others' personal opinions.
What I've been thinking about recently is the Hollaback! and Rob Bliss viral video on catcalling. When I first saw it, I really didn't feel that there was anything to be conflicted about. I've been to New York a number of times, live in a moderately sized city in the Midwest, have lived in a small/rural college town, in addition to traveling to multiple large cities in Europe and South America. I have experienced cat-calling in every city that I have lived in while in the United States.
Cat-calling in South America is a very different experience, partially because it is part of the machismo culture there. It is deeply engrained and the standards are quite different. While in Europe, I really don't believe I experienced cat-calling except in France where it was a bit creepy cause the guys were quite forward and would come up to actually have a conversation with you instead of simply calling things out. They were very persistent, as well.
However, I really feel that the worst I've experienced is in the United States. Now, I understand that people feel this video is controversial, mainly because of the racial issue. In my opinion, why should that matter at this moment? Not only were Bliss and Hollaback! not attempting to make a formal study out of street harassment (and if they were, I would be upset with the video), but they were not attempting to address the issue of race and how it plays with street harassment. That should not be the focus here, and if that is what people are choosing to focus on, they've clearly missed the point of the video.
The point of the video is to show everyone how pervasive street harassment is. It happens every day, every where, and women bear the major brunt of that harassment. So many men (and some women) have commented on the sites that have shared this video and expressed their opinion that women should be grateful for the compliments. They've stated that men are simply trying to be friendly, express their appreciation for the women around them, and start a conversation. While that may be true, it is harassment if it is unwanted.
It seems odd that men would say that they're trying to start a conversation with a woman while she's walking down the street. I don't know about you all, but I don't believe that I've ever conversed with a random stranger while walking down the street, male or female. It would make me uncomfortable, and I usually am trying to get somewhere, not have a conversation.
In terms of the excuses that men are expressing their appreciation for women around them or trying to be friendly, I would ask them to think about how they would feel if they were constantly bombarded by unwanted "appreciation," usually about their looks. While I wouldn't disagree that I like hearing compliments, I don't particularly enjoy getting them about my appearance. I was born looking the way I do, and hearing some random guy compliment me on my figure or eyes is not appreciated. It makes me feel uncomfortable and is something I don't really have control over. If he was complimenting my work ethic or intelligence, that may be a different story.
Additionally, if men really were just trying to be friendly, why wouldn't their comments extend to the opposite sex? I recently read the Buzzfeed article about #DudesGreetingDudes and loved it. I feel that it really expressed the problems I had with the excuses people were making for their behavior. I think that if people really just want to say hi, they should say it to people of both sexes. That would definitely help.
Going back to the race issue, I do understand why some individuals are upset with the representation of men in the video. However, I would ask people to realize that this is not a representative sample. It was not a formal study, and the creators were trying to choose the best examples of street harassment that they experienced within 10 hours. They were not choosing races; they were choosing behaviors. I, personally, have experienced street harassment from men of all races, including white men, especially in the small college town I lived in.
Numerous people have posted that over 50% of the video shows harassment from a street in Harlem. I would argue that simply because the creators chose to show the most offensive forms of street harassment, and they happened to be in Harlem, that does not give anyone the right to say that they are racist or that black men more typically harass women. Again, the creators of the video were making a point, and they wanted to show the examples from their personal experience that demonstrated this point the best. No one in any sort of academic community would ever use this video as research, because it isn't a normed sample of people. However, it shows that harassment occurs incredibly frequently on many different streets in one city.
I hope that men will stop making excuses for their behavior and genuinely consider how this cat-calling affects women on a daily basis. Women do not feel comfortable walking down the street in many places due to this harassment. How are women supposed to distinguish between the friendly greetings that are genuine and the compliments from someone who has the potential to harm them? There is no way to make that decision based on someone's appearance walking down the street.
I would ask all individuals to truthfully consider their behavior on a daily basis and not be defensive. We all have things to work on, and this is something instilled within our culture in the United States. Now that is has been pointed out in a broad fashion, please take it into consideration and work to improve it.
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