I am bisexual. I don't know that I've ever directly stated that to an individual unless directly provoked. It's not something I willing share with people for so many reasons. I love so hard in my personal relationships, but I don't feel that I'm allowed to love that hard if I'm loving a woman....when I'm talking to heterosexual individuals.
The fun part comes when you can't discuss your identity with the heterosexual community or the homosexual community. When the definition of your identity is something like..."they like a little bit of everything" or "they just can't decide, can they?". If I had to wager a guess, I'd guess that I am the pickiest person you know in terms of who I spend my time with and in terms of my romantic relationships. So it's really fun for you to infer that I'd fuck anyone....or really fun for you to infer from the label I place upon myself that I'm interested in everyone and anyone at any time. Your minimizing my personal connections to others based on one word - "bisexual" - is really fun for me. Because I have to deal with that word and its connotations every day.
I grew up never identifying myself. I didn't give myself a word or a definition based on my attractions toward others because I was accepted within my community-parents, friends, family, whomever. It was normal in my mind to feel attractions toward people. I never considered their genitalia as my deciding factor in if I would want to date them or not. It was a shock when I was in high school and realized that people wanted me to decide if I wanted a penis or a vagina. It took me a while to realize that I didn't want to make that decision because it didn't matter in the slightest to me. I cared how people treated me, and that was really about it. Unfortunately, many people see that as a cop out and not being able to make up my mind. Unfortunately, that's part of the stereotype of being bisexual.
These emotions and these feelings haven't just spurred from no where, obviously. They've been a long time coming based on my experiences and my interactions with others. However, it is absolutely unfathomable to me how anyone could harbor so much hate toward anyone, not even a group of people, that they would feel it necessary to end their lives. It is so unimaginable in my brain that someone could make a decision to kill tens of people based on something that actually does not affect them. Loving someone does not affect anyone who is not in that relationship. How other people feel the need to pass judgment or get involved in the relationship is beyond me. The fact that people continue to justify the right to bear arms is completely beside the point, in my mind, right now. The fact that a community of hatred has continued to be allowed within our country is the real issue. Gun control is important and is something to discuss, but hatred toward anyone is what is dividing our country to a point of people wanting to leave it.
So, what if I felt completely safe, physically, no matter where I went? What if no one in the United States was allowed guns? Do you think that it would change how I feel and am treated on a daily basis? I don't think so. Just because I'm physically safe, it does not mean that I feel emotionally safe ever. Can you imagine living day to day without being allowed to talk about anything personal or being threatened with losing a job that you paid thousands of dollars to get to? Is that a fair price for me to be who I am? Should I completely forgo my college education and my dream because I don't feel emotionally safe in the occupation I would prefer to be in?
What would happen if I had legal protection in my job? What would happen if I didn't lose my job, but I was isolated from my coworkers, the families of my students, and everyone else at work each day? What if I felt judged and shunned on a daily basis? My physical health isn't being threatened. Right? But, what happens when my mental health is suffering? Does that matter or does my relationship matter more to you?
I am emotionally threatened every day I go to work. Am I hurting someone at work by being in a relationship? Forget any sort of religious stance on my sexuality, but am I doing any fucking thing to another person by being in love? Absolutely not. Your relationship has absolutely nothing to do with me, and I would expect that mine would do the same. Judgment being passed about relationships has no place anywhere, and it's astounding that people feel that they are allowed to in relationships involving the LGBTQ community.
So, let me love my person. It has nothing to do with a presidential candidate, gun control, religion, or whatever else at this moment. It has to do with accepting one another and listening to other perspectives. I hope you realize that your judgment and hate won't change me. I will continue to be myself and love who I love because that is who I am. I am bisexual, and I am happy with myself. Unfortunately, others can't let that be.
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